Thankfulness Check-In

Thankfulness Check-In

Holiday stress having you say “No Thanks” ?! Here are some helpful tips and reminders to carry you through the end of 2021.

Towards the end of November, as the “holiday season” rears its head, it is typical to reflect on the things for which we are most thankful. While this reflection can be cathartic and beneficial when it is directed inward, it is important to remember that everybody’s “gratefulness” may look different.

At a young age, many of us are taught to be grateful for the things we have and to quash any jealousy regarding things we do not have. As adults, this tends to manifest as people telling others to be grateful for something, or the infamous statement of “You’re lucky”. I don’t know about you, but hearing someone tell me I am lucky feels as effective as someone telling me to “calm down” when I am stressed.

When we tell others to be thankful for their current situation, or express that we think they are “lucky”, we are undermining the validity of the situation they are in and their feelings surrounding it. Furthermore, expressing our feelings on these matters could put emotional pressure on someone to accept a negative situation they are in which could further toxic behavior.

So how do we express gratuity while being mindful of our surroundings?

• Remind yourself that comparison is not the answer. Behind every person’s outward appearance and social media presence are a thousand little stories. It is important to remember that people choose what to share externally and we only see a highlight reel. Internal struggles: mentally, emotionally, and physically, are rarely transparent. Give space and respect to the fact that you may not be getting the full story before jumping to a comparative conclusion.

• Breathe and do a mental check-in. What are you grateful for in this moment? Is it difficult to find something to be thankful for? It may be time to reach out to someone such as a loved one or a healthcare professional. Friends, family, chosen family, and coworkers are a wonderful starting support system. Talking to a healthcare professional, scheduling a check-up with your primary care physician, or engaging in talk therapy can also help to unlock some deeper-seated issues and continue the process of healing. (Does the thought of Therapy scare you? We’ve got you covered. Check out last month’s interview with PsychPhilly therapist Noel Shipp on Approaching the Topic of Therapy!)

• Give yourself the space to be thankful in your own time. Is there a holiday that just passed with “Thanks” in the name? Yes. Does that mean you have to love the situation you are in at this moment? Absolutely not. Mental check-ins and thankfulness do not have to occur at the end of November just because a holiday proclaims it. Honor your space and capacity, especially around the holidays. If your holiday “festivities” do not look like everyone else’s, that is okay. It is your journey, your story, and your life. (Plus, turkey is kind of overrated) Speaking of turkey….

• Eat whatever you want. Or… don’t! A holiday centered around food can be extremely difficult for folks. Whether someone has struggled with an eating disorder, has dietary restrictions, or negative associations with food or holidays, it is important to be mindful of peoples’ varied relationships with food. Commenting on how much a person is eating or not eating is never a helpful start to a conversation and, hearkening back to “comparison is never the answer” above, you may not know the whole story.

  • On the other hand, if food is something you struggle with for any reason- that reason is valid. A helpful aid could be looking into Medical Marijuana as it has been proven to improve appetite and even help those with eating disorders on both a physical and psychological level (via MarijuanaDoctors.com). If you’re interested in exploring Medical Marijuana as an option, get started here!

• Thank yourself. No matter what is going on, say thank you to your mind and your body for carrying you into today. Be present and take note of moments that bring you joy. Show yourself gratitude by practicing self-care and nourishing your body and soul.

Whether you celebrate the holidays by surrounding yourself with family and friends, watching reruns of your favorite TV show, eating green bean casserole, or ordering takeout, celebrate by honoring yourself first. Be safe and have a healthy last month of 2021.

P.S. If you choose to shop around this holiday season, please be mindful of retail, food service, and customer service workers. They are people. Treat them with respect, kindness, and practice patience.